Deep under the Pentagon, there is a door. An armed guard stands at this door, ever watchful. Should you present the proper credentials, you will be allowed beyond. Inside is a brightly lit and sterile elevator. Should you take that elevator down as  far as it goes you may find yourself in a large, open space underground. To the naked eye, it may look like an indoor football field. But to the nation’s top military commanders, it looks like the training grounds for America’s elite freedom strike force. Enemies of America: Are you ready for some football?

This week we watched the weirdly long music video for Hank Williams Jr.’s “Are You Ready for Some Football” and we can confirm that we are not.

Aaron Littleton hosts and joins the tribe. John Hurst co-hosts and has a full name.

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Listen kids don’t put that salad in your mouth. It’s…not healthy OK. Nothing here is healthy. You can’t eat anything at this restaurant, or at least you shouldn’t.

We watched this weird Canadian PSA about not putting things in your mouth.  You should watch it too and learn its secrets.

John Hurst hosts and becomes a viral sensation. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and scares his dog.

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There are some search terms that you just know will form a powerful intersection of energies; a load-bearing support of the deep human psyche. Before you even finish typing the phrase, you can begin to feel the weight of the results. Past that electronic Rubicon, you know there is an inescapable puissance of madness. Perhaps the king of such search terms? “Evanescence” + “Sonic the Hedgehog”.

This week we watched Evanescence’s seminal “Bring Me to Life” music video.  You’ve… seen the memes I’m sure.

Aaron Littleton hosts and really wants to talk about zoning boards. John Hurst co-hosts and refuses mayonnaise.

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Hey, d’ya ever wonder what the future is gonna be like? Do you think there’s gonna be like…robots? What about swimming pools? Will the robots swim in the swimming pools? What about sandwiches? Will the pools eat the sandwiches? Do sandwiches ride horses and what happens to horse bones after the pools eat the sandwiches? I worry about that stuff.

We watched Lil Nas X’s “Panini” music…video? This week. We watched it on loop.

John Hurst hosts and deepens the mystery. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and dials it back.

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Listen, Harvard’s easy to get into OK? You just…throw on your smoking jacket, barge down a brandy and take a big rip of your CBD vape while submitting your taped application. It works more often than you think, especially if you live in the increasingly unlikely Legally Blonde universe. Give it a shot! (Also it helps if you’re Reese Witherspoon.)

Aaron Littleton hosts and takes on the big case! John Hurst co-hosts and samples a CD!

We watched the Legally Blonde trailer on loop! Don’t object and just watch it!

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