Look, Frutiger Aero is back in everywhere! It looks like how want to feel, first of all! Sure, we don’t exactly want to go back to Windows ME and experience the pain points of early multimedia hell but the feel! The feel! We want to vibe back in it! And it tastes great too! You should put it into a smoothie and sip on it after a workout! Don’t worry about the microplastics! Not yet, anyway!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s setting up a conflict that will make us the prime suspects in an incident. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and the CD of Windows ME HD doesn’t even crack the top five of things devoured.

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No matter your age, I think we all can agree we can appreciate a good piece of large industrial equipment. For one, it’s big. That’s neat! Second, it moves around. Also great! And it cleans?! Well, as a now adult I love that too! You can spray mist in it for some reason too, just in case you need to turn the night into a Silent Hill scenario. Get a little fog going. Create an atmosphere. Just one 50% coupon and we’ll be set for LIFE. All we need now is a case of Dr. Pepper for the bees we’re going to get.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s establishing the Yeah No Yeah Precedent officially. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s unsupervised in the State Fair Tank!

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Sometimes you just need to explode a house. If you’re a reality show, that time is eventually going to come. You get a big enough budget and some of that is going to end up being dynamite. The comical kind. The Acme kind. And you’re going to have to store that somewhere, right? Might as well be in the house you’re tring to makeover for the show! Now let me just set up this camera for the family real quick and take a quick break on this plunger box for a bit. It’s okay! We got way more dynamite to go through! We can explode more houses soon too! For the ratings science, of course!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s definitely Patient Zero for something the Survey Call is not saying . Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he’s pretty sure we know how to get rid of ghosts now.

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We want to be up front with this one: neither of us have actually watched Monk. We’re sorry! We hear it’s good! But we never did! And we’re not sure if 0% of you all also watch Monk or it is 100% but we’re willing to take that risk as we go into our pitch for our latest USA Network shows starring Tony Shalhoub. We couldn’t find him on Cameo to pitch them to him directly but we know he’s going to love it. He doesn’t even have to play a weird detective this time! It can be a weird other role! What we’re saying is, Tony: be yourself.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s sitting in the booth! John Hurst is your co-host and he wants to add too many character traits to this USA Network character show.

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You need some new shoes. Your old ones are no longer in-vogue. They’re trash, mockeries of mocassins! You wouldn’t even get out of bed for such a uncouth look! It’s time to go to saddle up your scarily huge baby bird and go down to Steve Madden Shoes where they know you by name because you keep your credit card on tab there just in case. They even don’t mind the chicken because it’s a ghost. But your neighbor sees you going to get your daily shoegaze and knows what that chicken still can do. Ghost Court will make you pay for your crimes. You just don’t even know it yet. Choose a side. Choose a style. Choose fashion.

John Hurst is your gHost for this week and he’s splitting the body into quadrants for math-like purposes! Aaron Littleton is your co-gHost and he can’t do anything about that so he’s not going to worry!

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