March 2018

You stare into the void. You press “Like”. The “Like” spirals toward the center of the void, stretching and elongating as if drawn to the infinite mass at the heart of a black hole. Time ticks by slowly as this happens, but its effects are no less potent. You try and engage with the void, to “Laugh”, to “Cry”, to “Follow” but each and every digital sentiment is inexorably gobbled up by the darkness.

This is the future and we are to blame. It is not too late to change this, but the void coughs up a profane simulacrum of our youths, an image meant to placate us, to soothe us to inaction. Calmed we are, and we praise and love the void for another day. So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Unrelated, we watched the Ready Player One trailer this week. Enjoy.

John Hurst hosts this week and banks his rupees! Aaron Littleton co-hosts and instead prospects for gold!

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For once, we attempt to use our powers for good and serious reasons: namely watching the classic Patterson bigfoot film on loop until we can suss out the truth of one of the most enduring mysteries of the 20th century! Will the secret of S. Squatch finally be revealed? What does Iowa have to do with it, and does Bigfoot walk to a beat?

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and draws strength from Powerade! John Hurst co-hosts and enjoys organic pine cones.

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If NBA Jam taught me anything in life, it taught me that you definitely catch the ball on fire if you get three or more baskets in a row and that when you achieve turbo, your shoes will light up and make you go fast. So, no, NBA Jam didn’t really teach me anything. But it was fun! And nothing will trip you harder into the land of 90s Nostalgia than a tinny computerized announcer voice shouting “Boomshakalaka!” into your ear. All we did was watc this on loop and now we have to run and find a State Fair to dump all this Taz merchandise that came out of nowhere. Get in the car!

John Hurst hosts this week as he wonders why anyone thinks the Dallas Mavericks are good, even when they are. Aaron Littleton co-hursts hosts this week and is willing to sacrifice the WB Cartoon Universe if necessary.

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Are you willing to destroy the environment so your fast food hamburger can be just slightly better? Are you ready to join the mindless masses marching behind Jason Alexander as he holds the new god aloft? As the Earth collapses into the sun, will your hot stay hot or will your cool stay cool forever? Welcome to the McDLT.

This week we watch the classic(?) Jason Alexander McDLT commercial.

Aaron Littleton hosts and angers the spirit of Teddy Roosevelt. John Hurst hosts and huddles around a salad bar.

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Tie-in music videos are nothing special, except when a hit 90s singer uses them to confess his undying love for Batman. Will Batman finally notice Seal, or will his father force him to abandon childish things and marry his cousin or whatever? We expect a job offer from CLAMP after this episode!

This week, we watched the Kiss from a Rose music video and revealed our true feelings…about cats.

John Hurst hosts and reinforces a closet. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and carries hidden movies.

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Write to us at questions@videodeathloop.com!