Podcast

It only takes a second“, they say! That takes several seconds to say, but on a second to feel the reprecussions! Everyone hanging onto your every word wondering what you mean by that when you only read it in a instructional safety video on the internet. You know you’re right but you don’t want to explain why. You don’t want to relieve the horrible atrocities of stunt actors and car crashes and throwing dummies onto random piles of sharp metal bits. You’re protecting them from your fate. You can’t even look at a lawnmower without thinking how you’d would have to force your foot into it through a rube goldberg scheme of accidental and purposeful mayhem. You leave the words hanging. They eventually get back to their coffee. You get back to your nightmares.

Anyway, the safety officer wants us to watch a new video! They said it would only take a second, so get in the ampitheater everyone!

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Awwww yeah, it’s snake skin shedding time! SSST for all those who are in the Snake know. Look at the green on that snake! It’s U.S. Treasury mint. Snakey’s got to be proud of that work! Even got a filmographer to show it in midaction! Check out each scale! Now the Snake is ready for the snake slither walk (Slightly heated.) Go work that slide, snake!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s getting in the tube early for Reasons(tm.) John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s dreaming about Snake Atlantis.

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It’s time for NASCAR. It’s time for Sponsorships! And it’s time for Kevin James to yell at you to make sure your engine is sufficient started!

Is it? Are you sure? Have you.. Have you turned the key? Is it one of those things where you need to keep it on your body and press the button for the car to turn on? Maybe check the gas? Oil? Windshield wiper fluid? Is the engine still not started yet? Uh, okay, Kevin James is looking *really* weird at us now. I don’t know, give him a hot dog before he runs away from this job. We gotta get him to say the words of NASCAR as we know it is OVER!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s waiting around to make sure the Grand Marshall has their fill oh hot dogs before beginning. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has an electric water pump!!!!!

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Hey, you want to go to a store with me, right? Like, a real store! With things and products and all that! None of the browsing around and clicking on wire-fried product overviews from items that barely make sense in our fabric of reality. Yeah, let’s get in the car! Let’s go to the Circuit City! We’ll buy another car stereo and put it in our current car! We didn’t need either one and we’ll do it again next week! But first, we’ll drive home! Capitilism works! We’re a fun, average nuclear family! This will never radioactively decay and neither will we! We will live forever! Just like camcorders!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and his teacher is glad he is out of their class this year. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s rapidly creating new seasons of VDL in his mind brain in real time.

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It’s Shark Week so you know we’re going to have to give it up to the Sharks! They’ve integrated themselves into modern society and became half-human hockey players and lawyers for our entertainment and judicial needs and the world is all the better for it! We knew we couldn’t compete with Canadians on the the icy pond so we went to the ocean to find our terrifying reality. And it worked! You can see it happen in real time as everyone gets super excited! Go Sharks! Please don’t bite us! Your immune to our human laws because your shark lawyers are just too good!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s going to always choose the zamboni. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not going to learn about siphoning this week either.

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Ask us questions at questions@videodeathloop.com!