John Hurst

OH MY GOD THREE PERCENT LIQUIDITY. That sounds great! Whatever that means! JRR Token, the latest in cryptofashion, has all that and more for you. Will they explain what it means? Maybe? Maybe not. There’s a pie chart. They burned a part of it? And why does everything smell like pancakes? Maybe it’s all the pancakes. Maybe. Okay, I admit it’s probably all of the pancakes.

We get pretty weird pretty quick and we blame Ethan. Always blame Ethan.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is too busy incorporating companies that will turn against him. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s looking into the approximate damage that can be done with a Harbor Freight chainsaw.

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The Crazy Frog is only like 30% crazy, max. Sure, like he is unusual, but I wouldn’t say he is crazy. Maybe like speaks louder than normal at a restaurant crazy. Goes to the grocery store and buys at least four different flavors of pop tart crazy. Rents the wet vacuum from the same grocery store but keeps it for four days crazy. Posts on twitter about a wild day but was just sitting at home soldering cables together crazy. He’s not even that crazy at all and I think it’s time we reflect on that as a society. He parkours well though! I guess that’s all it takes!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he has a sound for this radio station that they’re going to hate. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s going to put that sound to a computer animated model and make no bang. The Record Company is going to buy both and make a tidy profit!

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Those chips need to escape. Into your hands, specifically. Into your mouth, where the delicious junk morsels must go. But heaven is denied and you have taken to greater measures. You back up. It’s personal now. It’s just you, a roomful of classmates with easy access to photographic evidence and a vending machine with a hatred for the living. You have trained for this moment. You got a green belt in taekwondo by the Dollar General for this moment. It’s time to put your feet to the glass sheet. In a few moments, the world will know your power, but for now they will only know your determination.

John Hurst is your host this week and he hopes that the chips traped aren’t Salt & Vinegar. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and can get like seven Surge cans easy.

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Hey, look! It’s the Doctor! The Doctor of Whositwhatsit! There were many of the Doctor and Sylvester McCoy may be your winking doctor! But overall, he is a distraction from the TRUTH. The truth your conspiracy discord and DVDs don’t even want you to know! The plan was hidden under our nose this entire time by the description of the Doctor’s regeneration. It was not merely a ploy to continue the show when one actor got tired. It was a way of being for one of the most powerful political figures in history? This is where we reel you in to listen find out who! Who?! WHO?!

Also, we watch the opening on loop.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and has a comeback campaign to plan. John Hurst is your co-host and he is working on the next incorporate podcast for incorporal beings.

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SCENE – EXT. NEW YORK SCENE

The Video Death Loop hosts (Aaron Littleton and John Hurst) are in a conundrum! John yet again bought a sandwich that is Too Large to fit the in refridgerator! Hijinks ensue. If they can’t fit it in the fridge, it’s going to get moldy and smell! And the landlord has got an extra-sensory nose recipticle that is state of the art and Definitely Not From a Robot ™ All the knives are dull and will not cut! Whatever will our heroes do? Quick, watch this video explaining a TikTok video that a robot definitely did not make. It contains 0% footage of the TikTok video, just like how there are definitely 0 robots in this room and/or city!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s got to hide this giant scorpion in his apartment fast. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s nodding approvingly(?) at a computer.

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