John Hurst

In the beginning, a single chocolate bar will rise. Or maybe it’s chocolate. Is it really? This is an ad for sexy white chocolate and they are really piling on how freeing this chocolate will make you damn feel. You’ll see a swing and maybe some bubbles and you won’t even notice because sexy times are quickly approaching at warp speed. There’s someone there ready to take your picture. You paid for the 3×5 package to send to everyone in your Christmas card. What they (and you) don’t know is how dangerously sexy things are about to get. Close up the studio, it’s time for the real photos to begin. Thank you, Nestle Alpine White Chocolate w/ Almonds. This one goes out to you.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s feeling fighty but only 1:30 AM Waffle House Fighty. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s wondering how Drake had all this time to do math also. Special thanks to Torzelbaum for the video suggestion!

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Welcome to the show! We got it all! We got circuses that have turned psycho from animation! We got cool ass skeletons! We got these older guys in makeup! We got a green screen and Silicon Graphics workstation! We don’t need anything else for ROCKING. Well, maybe a Gibson sponsorship. And a clown. Maybe two clown– No, only one. We can’t have any more. MTV may not play it if we go over the maximum number of clown. Okay, now, let’s ROCK OUT. In a limited window because we can only afford so much green screen? We’re KISS, and the first S stands for “Savings”. The second “S”? … Also, Savings. Look, Gene needs a new yacht.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is switching to Internet Beat Time! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is strongly considering repositioning the internet, globally.

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A secret from the templars! Tom Hank’s hair! Jesus! Maybe. I don’t know. I never watched it. There’s a code and Da Vinci has something to do with it. It was big in the 2000s, much like “art” and “media”. People running through the streets, either in pursuits in codes or running away from codes! This movie has it all! I guess. It also has Ron Howard, SON.

Come find a mystery with us! And talk about a Ron Jeremy movie too!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s walking in and out of shadows cryptically. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s off to create the greatest virus since “ILOVEYOU”.

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Turtle Pies! From Hostess! And the Ninja Turtles! In the 90s you could get away with any crime as long as you were associated wih a popular children’s brand. Put some vanilla pudding in a what looks to be a malformed pickle? Sure! Sounds tasty! Sell it to the kids! Heck, give them a free card and maybe they’ll buy more! The executives all high five each other while signing checks with the other hand, showing how ambidextrous they can be when it comes to money. They go home and make dinner for themselves and maybe their family too. In the corner, they might see a chef’s hat. “I don’t remember buying that”, one may say. They didn’t. The Chef’s Hat has chosen. And you do not want to dismiss its knowledge lightly.

The pies are probably okay tasty. We watch them on loop enough to where we are convinced of that, anyway.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s working of Big Chef on a conspiracy. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not going to look directly at the black hole.

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The cats, oh how they shake! How they shake in the earthquake! Quiet they stand and let the ground move. They hold their sway for a few moments. They knew they brought this on the earth and knew they must be careful. If they swayyed any harder, the big cats with the phone cameras may fall over and that would be funny too, but that’s not according to the plan. They will sway when the swaying time is right. But first, they shall bathe in the sun in the middle of a street. Then the swaying!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is trying all the veggie sausages. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s trying to tell cats all about eyes.

Special thanks to listener muteKi for the video suggestion!

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Ask us questions at questions@videodeathloop.com!