John Hurst

Hey, you want to go to a store with me, right? Like, a real store! With things and products and all that! None of the browsing around and clicking on wire-fried product overviews from items that barely make sense in our fabric of reality. Yeah, let’s get in the car! Let’s go to the Circuit City! We’ll buy another car stereo and put it in our current car! We didn’t need either one and we’ll do it again next week! But first, we’ll drive home! Capitilism works! We’re a fun, average nuclear family! This will never radioactively decay and neither will we! We will live forever! Just like camcorders!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and his teacher is glad he is out of their class this year. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s rapidly creating new seasons of VDL in his mind brain in real time.

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It’s Shark Week so you know we’re going to have to give it up to the Sharks! They’ve integrated themselves into modern society and became half-human hockey players and lawyers for our entertainment and judicial needs and the world is all the better for it! We knew we couldn’t compete with Canadians on the the icy pond so we went to the ocean to find our terrifying reality. And it worked! You can see it happen in real time as everyone gets super excited! Go Sharks! Please don’t bite us! Your immune to our human laws because your shark lawyers are just too good!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s going to always choose the zamboni. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not going to learn about siphoning this week either.

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You have to fill the time up somehow. The network isn’t going to entertain you all the time. They got bills to pay! Fortunately, Sears is never going to die and they spent 30 bucks on your Nickelodeon shows to tell 7-year olds all about air conditioners. They’re pretty… Cool! That’s what you’re supposed to say to your dad when the AC goes out at home and you repeat whatever you see on TV to him. You gotta really annoy him with the quotes and the 0% financing. That’ll surely convince him to call Sears and keep them alive for another month! This certainly won’t become a weird core memory that you write out as a description of a podcast episode later in your life. That’s just silly! You don’t want to listen to things! You need that for TV!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s currently holding the quadrupedal animal eating bird Youtube genre alive all on his own. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s read enough to Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” to say he’s an expert at War.

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Shit!! We’re out of ingredients! Like, most of them! Most of the restaurant ones, anyway! We need to go the grocery store and stock up but the customers are coming into the restaurant now! We have just a lot of wet ham and some leftover cheese and maybe we can sell them on– oh they’re already eating it. They’re calling it the Yumbo. They’re nostalgic for it twenty years later. They want more. They won’t stop eating it. How are we not running out of ham? Why is it so wet?! WHY WON’T IT ALL STOP–

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s giving you the stink-eye by the salad bar. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s been pod-located on this pod-cast.

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In this world of content, don’t be “content”! Be “Content”!!! That’s good, right? That’s worth like a 50 page powerpoint and payment at some mid-level tech convention right? I can pad it out a little bit more. Maybe talk about myself and my Content Aspirations and how we desire to take out every podcast until we’re the only one left like Jet Li in “The One”. Maybe stage a cool fight on a pyramid against all the other podcasts. But maybe we’ll get tired and put on our nice tweed hats and look smug in a forest clearing like Robert Forest always wanted us to feel when we saw The Road Not Taken. Maybe we’ll make a little deal with some mythological creatures and face the reprecussions when we wake up. That won’t be for a while, right? It’s worth it to keep all ten of those toes, after all. Anyway, want a sausage?

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s making deals upon deals until the right worst bargain comes back. John Hurst is your co-host and he would like his jester hat now, please.

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Ask us questions at questions@videodeathloop.com!