John Hurst

Ah, yes, the woods! Where nature and vampires co-exist as one. Humans may think they control the earth, but no sirree bob! Only a vampire knows the hard work you have to put into the earth. Raising raccoons, shrinking horses, spending an inordinate amount of time in the outhouse. Yes, we vampires know the earth better than we know ourselves. Why, we even used to bury gold out here, somewhere. I think. I need to go back and check. That was three hearts ago. It was when that movie with the fake vampires that was very popular was in the nickelodeon. They didn’t have one horse in it, I don’t think? I watched 30 minutes of it. I was too busy taking care of my tiny horses.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s pretty sure he won’t be at his high school reunion. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s concerned about a Lee Greenwood sighting.

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Behold! Look upon your trash bags and despair at their quality! They are not Hefty brand trashbags so they are INFERIOIR in the eyes of God and all that he holds before him as good and pure. You will not be chosen in the rapture. Nay, he will clean you up in his Hefty-branded trash bag and throw you in the bowels of hell themselves. There, you will have one friend only, a Rat King you cannot get away from. You won’t be able to decide if the Rat King is one friend of many friends because you’ll be screaming. Please enjoy!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not going to go look in the tall grass. Aaron Littleon is your co-host and he needs to find a good deal on a snow shovel.

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The Waves! The Races! The Sixty-Fours! Never has one game combined so many nouns successfully and succinctly. It had a sponsor and and it had dolphins but it knew better than to not push its luck on the name. No, three is the magic number. Let the waves do the talking! When the world is covered in Wave Race 64 carts we will be let nature take its course. Wave Race will feed us. Wave Race will care for us. Wave Race is life.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is in need of the perfect meatball sub. John Hurst is your co-host and he promises a new podcast platform we can all depend on (We cannot depend on it.)

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Gather your teen pop posse and dance a closely-knit jig, because it’s time for witchery to begin. We have one single target: A single boy in a field of flowers. The goal: throw him into the minivan. Most importantly, do not ask or answer questions. If someone asks if you are the Irish pop group B*Witched (with a star in the middle) you say “Yes” but don’t you dare answer “But the Record Wizard is the one in control.” It may be true, but don’t speak it! The dog will be recording. We will know.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s going to complain to Father Time in the form of a written letter. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has enough blue and green food coloring for all the pancakes.

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Donnie Yen! You get off this car this instance! You don’t know where it’s been! I leave you alone for two minutes and you’re breakdancing all over the city like the opening to some Hong Kong film! Slapping stickers all over yourself like you are sponsored and warming up hot dogs in your pants? What will the people say? … Other than that you’re super fly of course! Nah, Donnie Yen, you can do whatever you want. Keep on breakin’! Breakin’ 2 maybe, even!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s ready to search very, very low for a hot dog. John Hurst is your co-host and he knows a guy who can find an Egg Roll.

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Ask us questions at questions@videodeathloop.com!